My Only Sunshine
by DarkmoonSigel
Summary: A little trip through the ages. And before ya’ll come for me about Aziraphale being a gourmand, everyone has that one gross thing they eat that everyone else hates, or causes them concern.


oOo The Present oOo

"Why do you spoil him like that?"

The question had come from Anathema, though Crowley had no intention of ever calling the witch by her actual name. Just a moment ago, the demon had miracled away something trivial for the angel of puppy dog eyes before Aziraphale and Newt popped off to the kitchen to collect the tea and snacks.

"Now you see here, Book Girl, I helped create Alpha Centauri. I have personally talked to God. I have lived in both Heaven and Hell. I have seen things you can't even begin to imagine even if you were given an extra 1,000 years to ponder the universe."

"Your point being?"

"My point is to mind your own bloody damn business. That you can't even begin to fathom what we have so sod right the fuck off." Crowley glared, "He's the furthest thing from spoiled."

The pair were interrupted by Aziraphale and Newt, the former carrying all the cakes and fancy little sandwiches people like to nibble on when they have company, and are feeling posh as well as overly enthusiastic. Aziraphale was carrying all the food which was a good thing because he promptly knocked into the sitting room table. The angel had been more paying attention to what he was planning on eating rather than the dimensions of the room and the items in it

"Oh, sorry." Aziraphale apologized to the table like it was the most natural thing in the world before setting down the trays on it.

"Why is it so tense in here?" Aziraphale asked, studying Anathema to realize that he was being studied right back.

"Ah, nothing, angel. We're just having some friendly religious debate." Crowley said, "This all looks lovely, but I don't see any of those little sandwiches I like. If they have the ingredients, be a love, and make me some. I'm sure Book Girl and the Other One would love to try them."

"Really?" The angel perked up considerably, surprising the witch. She didn't think Aziraphale could get anymore cheerful. If the angel were a time of day, Aziraphale just went from a pleasant misty morning to full on midday at the beach. "I must warn you though, they do take a moment to create. I make them the human way."

"Yes, Crowley mentioned them to me earlier." Anathema said, because she might be retired, but she was still a witch. "Newt, go with him so he knows where everything is."

"Yes, of course. I didn't know angels could cook." Newt nodded, done setting out the tea before leading Aziraphale back in.

"Oh, I see what you mean." Anathema said quietly, "At least a little bit."

"No, you don't, but eat one anyway. He thinks he can cook. Those sandwiches are as bad as his magic act. They shouldn't kill you, though you might feel off for a day or two." Crowley said, still unsure of what the hell Aziraphale did to something as simple as a sandwich.

"No. I mean you implying that his side didn't treat him very nicely."

"That's the understatement of a lifetime."

oOo 4004 BC oOo

The first real thing about Crawley...later Crowley...Aziraphale noticed was that he was different. It wasn't anything he could put his thumb on. The demon was strange, but in a good way. He was nice for one thing. He didn't make much of a fuss about Aziraphale giving away his ethereal weapon...well, he did a little bit, but not in a manner that the angel would have expected, or even in a bad way.

If anything, the demon appeared to be a little impressed by it, and he certainly didn't make fun of Aziraphale for doing so. Not all the angels liked humans. The ones who really didn't like them where sent to the Pit with the MorningStar who was calling himself Lucifer now, but there were still some angels in Heaven who were forgetting that indifference was the true opposite of love. Aziraphale was weary of these angels and their intentions.

That could all be an act on the demon's part, of course, but something about Crawley rang true to Azirphale. It was just a feeling that the angel couldn't shake or ignore.

It only strengthened when Crawley scooted in closer to the angel as the winds picked up to carry out the very first thunderstorm this planet had ever experienced.

"What's going on now? What's all this?" Crawley asked, pointing at the dark clouds that were piling up on one another at an alarming rate. It's was the clouds' first attempt at rainfall so they were going to go above and beyond. They tried out something in their arsenal called lightening. The fallout of thunder was a big hit with them.

"Something new that she's rolling out, rain and such."

"I don't like it." Crawley said, edging in even closer while side eyeing the angel to see if he would try to smite him or not. He startled badly as more lightening was tossed out like confetti by the overzealous clouds, the world shaking from the sound of it. "I don't like this at all."

Any other angel would have attack Crawley by now, especially for saying something so blasphemous. They most certainly would have not allowed any of this. Crawley didn't look like a threat to Aziraphale though. If anything, the demon looked cold and a little scared actually, his golden eyes tracking the new weather.

Making another decision that he was unsure of, yet felt right deep down, Azirphale raised his left wing to shelter the other, not minding the sudden onslaught of noise and falling water. There was always some sort of fallout when and where God was concerned when she got miffed with her creations. One either got used to it and took it with grace, or they Fell.

Glancing up at the other's wing with hidden amazement, Crawley tucked in as close as he could without actually touching the angel. He was already pushing his luck.

"It's not all bad. This rain thing comes with a lovely smell." Azirphale said, smiling over at the demon who could only stare back. The angel's happiness seemed so genuine. "I sure more wonderful things will come from this as well."

"I hope you're right." Crawley heard himself say, wishing he knew what to say next. He didn't though so the angel of Eastern Gate and the serpent of Eden watched the first rainfall together in a mostly comfortable silence.

oOo 50 AD oOo

"So why have you invited me out this time? Found a better place for oysters?" Crowley said in greeting to be met with a very sad looking angel who was deep in his cups. "Holy hell, what happened to you?"

"I've been...demoted." Aziraphale said softly, the angel looking a proper mess. His tears kept slipping down his face into his wine cup, making it a special kind of sacramental. He also had quite a few empty jugs around him. To Crowley, it looked like the angel had been at this for while before calling out to him.

"What? No, you couldn't have been." Crowley said, taking a quick seat across from the drunk angel. "You haven't been truly demoted, right? Would have heard about it. You still smell like yourself. No sulfur notes."

"No, no. I haven't fallen." Azirphale said, doing his best to pull it together. "And all in all, God didn't even kick up a fuss about it. Everyone in Heaven just knows I'm not a Cherubim anymore, and that was that. She didn't tell anyone why either."

"How ineffable of her. So you've been more shuffling around is all." Crowley said, miracling up a cloth. "Please stop crying. I can't be seen out in public with you like this."

"Thank you." Aziraphale said as he took the offering, not noticing the look on Crowley's face. It was a very complex look so it was probably a good thing he missed it "You're right. Sorry about all this. I'll sober up."

"Not too much. I do want to try and catch up. It's half the fun." Crowley said, because he wanted the full story. A drunk Aziraphale was much more forthcoming than a sober Aziraphale. He really wanted to know who was going to make his permanent shit list. "So what are you now if you're not a Cherubim? An aardvark?"

"Hush, you. I am a Principality. I am the official Prince of Soho which is located in the United Kingdom." Aziraphale said with somewhat renewed confidence. His smile was back like a shy sun peeking out from behind some lingering storm clouds.

"What is a Soho, and where is the United Kingdom?" Crowley asked after a weighted moment of gravitas.

"I don't know." Aziraphale admitted, completely crestfallen again, all cloudiness back with a high chance of scattered showers. "That's why I called you here. I was hoping you might have heard of it."

"Afraid not, angel."

"Oh bother." Aziraphale said with a lip wobble, his blue eyes tearing up again.

"Oi, none of that. Listen to me, and listen to me good, it will turn up. If it's a place, countries come and go all the time. Look at Atlantis. Fell into the damn ocean. This Soho could very well bubble up tomorrow for all you know." Crowley said because he would not be the one to upset Aziraphale today. "If it's something you have to protect, I bet you'll find it when you least expect it. Until then just keep doing what you're doing. You're good at that."

"You're right, dear. Thank you." Aziraphale sniffed, his smile all wobbly around the edges, but definitely there. Crowley tried not to think about how important that smile was to him.

oOo Thursday, Two Days Until the End of the World oOo

"What in the hell was that all about?" Crowley said as soon as it was safe enough for him to come down.

"I know, I know. They're not very good at imitating humans, that's for sure." Aziraphale tried to stop cringing. It was all just one big continuous cringe as soon as the two other angels had walked in, inquiring awkwardly loud about pornography of things as a ruse.

"No, that's not what I mean." Crowley was not pleased, he wasn't pleased at all. "Do they always talk to you like that?"

"Well, they are very busy..." Aziraphale tried, but his tone said that he had already written it off, that he was used to it. The realization made Crowley's blood boil. "...and under a lot of pressure, and doesn't help that Gabriel has never quite gotten over his suspicions about why I was demoted. He thinks I'm keeping something a secret."

"Which you are." Crowley couldn't help to point out.

"I am not! That would be dishonest!" How the demon loved his angel's face journeys.

"Have they brought up your sword yet?" Crowley asked with a little smirk.

"Drat, you're right."

"Often am." The smirk turning into a grin.

"Oh don't be so smug about it. It slipped my mind." Arizaphale said, giving the demon a cross little look for all his efforts.

"Slipped your mind? You didn't lose some pocket change. You gave away a weapon forged for you and you alone by God herself." Crowley said, because it still amazed him what Aziraphale chose to focus on. "It's Armageddon. I think they are going to make some inquires about it."

"What am I going to do?"

"Stick to the plan. Keep looking for the Antichrist. It's all we really can do." Crowley said with a shrug. It was the best he could come up with.

"Is it too early to start drinking while we do that?" Aziraphale sighed, shooing away the few customers he had in his shop.

"What kind of stupid question is that?" Crowley said, hurrying them along in his own special way.

"Oh..."

"Of course not. Close up the shop already, angel. I'm miracle us up some red."

oOo Back to present day oOo

"Here we are!"

Aziraphale was beaming as he set down a plate of some fairly normal looking sandwiches. Anathema couldn't figure what all the fuss was about. Aziraphale was busy picking the perfect one for Crowley.

"Don't eat those." Newt whispered to Anathema while the pair were distracted with one another. Anathema thought he looked a little green around his edges. Newt was a man who had seen some terrible things done to innocent ingredients. His coloring got worse when he noticed Crowley digging in, much to the delight of the beaming angel.

"How are you eating that?" Newt managed to ask Crowley while Anathema and Aziraphale were chatting away about the occult. Aziraphale was having the time of his life telling the witch about all the weird little cults that had existed throughout the ages. In turn, Anathema was delighted about finding an 'inside source', finally getting all the answers she wanted.

"Other Human, I can gargle sulphur, and eat brimstone." Crowley said, leaning toward enough to show off his golden eyed glare. "I personally don't give a damn if you actually eat one or not, but it would be in your best interest to act like those tea sandwiches are the reason they invented sliced bread."

Which is why Anathema found quite a few sandwiches strategically placed behind pillows, and shoved in the couch's crack later on.


End file.
